Memorial Day 2019

Tim and I have been looking forward to this weekend for weeks. It has been such a cold and wet May and we didn't think we were going to get decent weather but it ended up being such a beautiful weekend. We were so behind on projects and it was a busy weekend. The retaining wall for the pool, getting the garden planted, and unpacking everything that has spent the last 6 months in the basement and shed and is not ready to live out it's life for the next 3-4 months.  Summer here is so beautiful.  Even on a busy weekend, I couldn't help but think about Mom.  The funeral home had emailed me to let me know that they had come down and finalized the tombstone and we drove down to see it. I miss my Mom terribly and the hardest part is not having her here during the summer. My little Ladybug.  However, after 3 days of hard labor, I think we got the summer back on track.

Nanjing China

Just got home from two weeks in China working with our parent office in Nanjing. Exhausted.  Design meetings, vendor meetings, sourcing trips, too much Chinese food, and throw in Tina's wedding and a bout of food poisoning and I am so glad to be home.

Happy Mother's Day!

The first weekend I brought Mom home was a mixed bag of feelings. Exhaustion, excitement, nervousness, sadness, happiness. We just wanted to make Mom feel at home upstate and with Tim and I taking care of her. I can't imagine what was going through her mind that weekend and how she felt. I just know how glad I was to have her with me and Tim and to be able to take care of her.  This was one of those perfect moments. Coffee on the back porch with Mom - gorgeous morning and she felt rested and content and I was so happy to have her with me and we just chatted about the garden  and the hydrangeas taking over the back porch.  I miss her terribly. I miss taking care of her. I miss having a hundred things to do for her every day. I miss the person I felt like when I was with her . I don't feel like I have an identity without her.  Our garden is now filled with memories of you - your gardenias, window boxes, and little ladybug garden shoes. Happy Mother's Day, Mom.  Tim and I miss you so much. My little ladybug. I love you.

Adams Family and Sadie

We went to see my cousin's daughter, Sadie, perform in her last play at Delhi SUNY.  Adams Family. We have loved having her here for the last couple years and are really going to miss her. She graduates in a couple weeks. We will miss our tap classes and brunches and theatre excursions.  We took home the practice boards from the town hall yesterday and went to see the show last night.  We will miss you, Sadie!

Getting Out

We stayed in the city this weekend because Tim was heading off to Phoenix for work.  Trying to get back to the new normal.  We decided to venture out for lunch and a little local sight seeing. Hudson Yards opened up and there is this beautiful structure in the middle of what is a total circus of un-remarkable architecture.  The Vessel is this gorgeous outdoor, interactive sculpture.  It is a large honeycomb styled vase with stairs everywhere to wander around and look at the views. It's a shame that you are looking at a mall and unremarkable glass office buildings but the concept is beautiful.  There were so many people everywhere and it is unimaginable buying a condo here and trying to live with the crowds.

We went and had lunch and did some shopping and then came back to our apartment and went upstairs to the rooftop for some sun and peace and quiet.  It was such a beautiful afternoon. The view looks out over what used to be my view when I first moved to NYC. I live only 4 blocks from my first apartment. After a lovely day, we decided to go have a nice meal at one of our favorite restaurants - Haru on 43rd St.  Crispy Brussels sprouts, cauliflower tempura, sushi and leech martinis.  It was delicious. We walked home and crashed.  Baby steps.

Emerging

Mom passed on February 22nd.  It has been a rough month.  I feel lost and there are constant reminders of her everywhere. Some of the reminders are beautiful and parts are so incredibly sad. I can't look at photos of her at all. I am actually glad that we are postponing the service for a couple months. I don't know how I could deal with standing in front of people at the moment.

In the meanwhile, life proceeds.  My parent's urn was delivered.  I think it turned out beautiful. I walk by and touch it everyday and just cry. I am having issues thinking about putting it into the ground.

Mom's gardenias started blooming and the living room smells amazing. There are a couple months before the pots can go back outside. The smell reminds me of her and the shrubs she used to nurse in front her home in Texas.

I used to sing this song - "Mama, A Rainbow" to her all the time. It speaks to how much I loved her and would have given her anything to make her happy. The last week of her life, I noticed that someone had colored a rainbow and taped it to her bedroom wall. When I saw it, I cried.  After she passed, I took it off the wall and framed it. It sits on my bedside table. Somehow, my Mom had given me my rainbow that I had promised her all these years.  She couldn't have given me a better reminder of her love.

Goodbye

Patricia Micalizzi Freeman of Bovina, NY formerly of San Antonio, Texas and Mamaroneck, NY peacefully left this earth on February 22, 2019. She was 81. Born in Pelham, NY in 1937 to Rosamund Spafford Micalizzi and Andrew Micalizzi.
Patricia traveled the world with her husband and children and lived in Japan, the Philippines, California, Montana, NewYork, Texas and finally Bovina, NY. We feel blessed by her presence and gifted by the memories of the joy and laughter she gave us.
Patricia was predeceased by her loving husband Ronald Gene Freeman in 2013 and by her son, Christopher Shuford in 2005. She is survived by her son, Jeffrey Shuford and his partner Tim Nickel, her loving sister, RoseAnne Micalizzi Harvey and her husband Jack Harvey, sister

Natalie Murray, her daughter-in-law Christina Shuford and her grand-daughters Sarah Shuford and Chelsea Shuford.
A memorial service will be planned later this year in July at MacArthur/Hall and Peet Funeral Home in Delhi. Burial will be in the Bovina Cemetery at the same time.
Please visit www.macarthurfh.com to share a condolence with Patricia Freeman’s family and friends.