Travel Warnings

So,  I call my mother to tell her that she was right about the Brazilian cannibals and read the article to her over the phone.

"See",  she says, "you never believe me."

I proceed to tell her that she has a history of terrorizing me with travel warnings.  I remind her of her inappropriate warnings starting at the age of 5 when we lived in the Philippines.

"Mom, you used to tell me that the Filipinos liked to kidnap little American boys with blue eyes. I never put my arms out the car windows because I was afraid of being ripped out of the them if I was seen. When I would get home from Kindergarten, I would freak out if you weren't home and our maid, Beth, would take me and Chris down the street for soda pop.  I would hold onto my 2 year old brother's hand for dear life knowing that I was going to be sold into white slavery at any moment."  

My mother corrects me that she isn't terrorizing me

"Was I right about the car bomb on your street? Was I right about the guy who jumped out of your building trying to commit suicide?  Was I right about the tornados in Westchester?  Was I right about the cannibals?"

Hmmm...I suddenly realize that I may have to start watching Fox News.