Adams Family and Sadie

We went to see my cousin's daughter, Sadie, perform in her last play at Delhi SUNY.  Adams Family. We have loved having her here for the last couple years and are really going to miss her. She graduates in a couple weeks. We will miss our tap classes and brunches and theatre excursions.  We took home the practice boards from the town hall yesterday and went to see the show last night.  We will miss you, Sadie!

Getting Out

We stayed in the city this weekend because Tim was heading off to Phoenix for work.  Trying to get back to the new normal.  We decided to venture out for lunch and a little local sight seeing. Hudson Yards opened up and there is this beautiful structure in the middle of what is a total circus of un-remarkable architecture.  The Vessel is this gorgeous outdoor, interactive sculpture.  It is a large honeycomb styled vase with stairs everywhere to wander around and look at the views. It's a shame that you are looking at a mall and unremarkable glass office buildings but the concept is beautiful.  There were so many people everywhere and it is unimaginable buying a condo here and trying to live with the crowds.

We went and had lunch and did some shopping and then came back to our apartment and went upstairs to the rooftop for some sun and peace and quiet.  It was such a beautiful afternoon. The view looks out over what used to be my view when I first moved to NYC. I live only 4 blocks from my first apartment. After a lovely day, we decided to go have a nice meal at one of our favorite restaurants - Haru on 43rd St.  Crispy Brussels sprouts, cauliflower tempura, sushi and leech martinis.  It was delicious. We walked home and crashed.  Baby steps.

Emerging

Mom passed on February 22nd.  It has been a rough month.  I feel lost and there are constant reminders of her everywhere. Some of the reminders are beautiful and parts are so incredibly sad. I can't look at photos of her at all. I am actually glad that we are postponing the service for a couple months. I don't know how I could deal with standing in front of people at the moment.

In the meanwhile, life proceeds.  My parent's urn was delivered.  I think it turned out beautiful. I walk by and touch it everyday and just cry. I am having issues thinking about putting it into the ground.

Mom's gardenias started blooming and the living room smells amazing. There are a couple months before the pots can go back outside. The smell reminds me of her and the shrubs she used to nurse in front her home in Texas.

I used to sing this song - "Mama, A Rainbow" to her all the time. It speaks to how much I loved her and would have given her anything to make her happy. The last week of her life, I noticed that someone had colored a rainbow and taped it to her bedroom wall. When I saw it, I cried.  After she passed, I took it off the wall and framed it. It sits on my bedside table. Somehow, my Mom had given me my rainbow that I had promised her all these years.  She couldn't have given me a better reminder of her love.