Funeral Pre-Arranging Step One

I have been in the process of making pre-arrangements for funeral plans at a local funeral home.  There is no way I can get around doing it.  I feel that if I do a little bit at a time, I can make it less depressing and less impactful.  So, I have been biting off a little bit at a time.  Buying plots at the cemetery. Prepaying the funeral arrangements.  Now, I have to arrange for the headstone.  Each step seems manageable but it ends up being enormously painful despite the baby steps.

1. Buying the Cemetery Plots.  Originally, because my Dad was in the service, I thought my parents got plots and burial costs taken care of by the military but that turned out not to be true.  Also, the thought of ever having to go back to Texas even to have a service or pay my respects was just not going to happen.  Tim and I will more than likely retire here in this town and this house. I guess it makes sense to be buried here - unless it was on a cliff overlooking Positano or Barcelona or something but that will never happen either.

I arranged to meet the woman who sells the plots at the cemetery and drove down to take a look and discuss.  One of my pet peeves about cemeteries is graves that are too close to the road.  I don't want to think of myself as roadkill.  Susan, the cemetery manager, was very nice and pleasant.  The cemetery is in a very pretty location, centered in the valley with views of the ridge lines along Coulter Brook Rd.  I had been hoping to find a couple plots at the top of the hill but that is the oldest part of the cemetery and there was nothing available.  Susan showed me the next row of empty lots which were a little close to the drive but not the road.  I stood there and took 360-degree photos from the spot.  In my mind, I guess I thought - this is what you will be looking at for eternity - it better be a pretty view?

Dealing with your parent's deaths is also learning to deal with your own mortality.   Thinking about how or where you want to spend eternity is overwhelming.  I have researched different burial options.  Cremation with having my ashes tossed in the garden, buried in expensive Le Creuset cookware, your ashes mixed with bird seed and eaten by birds and then they fly away, biodegradable pods at the base roots of trees and assorted other ideas.  It is all too complicated and depressing.  I was feeling very overwhelmed and agreed to buy two sets of cremation plots - a set for my parents and a set for Tim and myself.  I mailed the check and drove Tim over to take a look at our future resting place.  All he could say was "nice views."  He takes these things less seriously than I do or maybe he just doesn't have his mind wrapped around it at the moment?  I get the deeds in the mail and take a deep breath.  Check that one off my list.