You Are Loved

I learned years ago that I would be the caregiver for my family.  I never expected this but you manage with the cards you are dealt. My Dad who was a really good guy was unfortunately not gifted with the affection gene.   Nor, the gift giver gene either.  I knew at a very early age, that it was going to be my job to overcompensate for my Dad and for my brother's when it came to recognizing my Mom for how great she was. And I did.  Years of rallying the troops, years of overspending, years of beating my head against the wall trying to understand what was wrong with the other men in my family.  Whatever, I did what I had to do.  I think my mother knew but never said a word.

When I was a little boy, I wanted to be sure that my Mom knew.  I had very little money and I think I was in a five and dime in Texas and bought this small piece of marble with the words "You Are Loved" on it.  I just wanted something to remind her that I would never forget her.

On Monday, I stopped off at the local new Tat shop in Margaretville and had the phrase inked on my forearm. I wanted something to remind me of her always and my devotion to her.  It's also there for another reason.  As her dementia gets worse, as she stops recognizing me and she isn't capable of speaking, it is to remind me that she is still there and that no matter what - I need to know that she still loves me.