It was a beautiful morning after so many days of rain. I picked up an Italian combo on a soft roll for Mom and grilled turkey and swiss cheese for me from Crazy River Cafe. Mom only eats a quarter of her sandwiches and I am just gaining weight from eating all her other sandwich halves that I take home. I ran over to Wadler Bros. to pick up some 1x4x12s for the backyard pergola and then went to Mom’s place. They moved her from the recliner near the window to the recliner near the hallway. However, I think she gets more sleep by the window. I dropped off the tote and groceries in her room and then picked her up in her wheelchair and brought her back to her room so the two of us could eat.
News on the TV was all about the House election in Georgia and the young guy who died after his return from North Korea - just incredibly sad. We ate and I talked about her upcoming 80th birthday and told her that her sister, Roseanne, and her husband, Jack, will be coming to visit for that weekend. That really seemed to perk her up. Her eyes which she tends to keep closed opened up and we talked about what kind of lunch she would like and birthday cake choices. When I asked her if she would like lasagna, she said that that sounded good. I told her that she liked my lasagna and she commented - “I like mine better.” That made me laugh. She is such a fussy eater and takes pride in her cooking. She was always very territorial in the kitchen. I told her that I didn’t know if making Italian food would be a good choice around so many Italian sisters and she smiled and laughed. She was in a good mood.
I mentioned that I had to leave early to do some work and she asked me if I had found a job and I told her that I was still looking. I was laid off in February. I talked about upcoming interviews and she suddenly asked, “does that mean we wouldn’t be able to have lunch together anymore?” I crumbled inside. I know how lonely she is at this place. I told her that we would go back to just weekends. She made a face. Part of me feels that this has really had an effect on my work life. Part of me feels that she should be my priority and that I could put off working for a little bit longer. I don’t know what to do? I head home and take advantage of the sunny couple hours to put on the siding on the pergola and then head inside to go online and job search. All I can think about is her comment. What should I do?